Writing with details

English Fun 6 June 2010 | 4 Comments

Today I wanted to get you to expand on your writing and tweeting. I asked one friend of mine on twitter what was new and he wrote 7 tweets. He had lots of English practice from those tweets. Isn’t that wonderful?

Below is an example of expanding thoughts. It’s still concise, but has many more details.

“Today I went walking in my neighborhood with my family. We saw many frogs and crabs. We went to the playground and my kids played on the seesaw. It was really sunny outside. After playing, we took a drive down to the ocean. We hung out at the beach and watched the waves. I was so beat! Finally, we went home and I put my kids to bed. It was time for some alone-time. I watched movies and read a book by myself. It really helped to relax me.”

My challenge to you is for you to write a comment or a tweet me and really describe everything you did today in your free time.

4 Responses on “Writing with details”

  1. Wanderson Xesquevixos says:

    Hello Yvonne,
    Today I woke up at 9:00 a.m. ‘cos my son was jumping on me. He wanted I’d get up to play with him. So, I had to get up.
    Next, I went to the bakery with my son to buy some bread and a liter of milk.
    When I came home, we played a little. After lunch, we took a nap and at 4 p.m. I had to take my wife and my son to the bus station, they had to go to the countryside. My wife is working there till next Wednesday.
    Now, I’m here studying English and for my Master’s Degree. It’s a little difficult to be far from your family, but sometimes it is needed.
    It’s my first post and congratulations for your blog. Thanks for the opportunity to post.
    Cya.

  2. Yvonne says:

    What a great comment! So many details. That was just what I was looking for! One little hint, if you want to abbreviate ‘because’, we usually just use ‘cuz’. You might want to try that? Thank you so much for visiting my blog! (p.s. I understand about your son jumping on you. My kids do that to me too. LOL)

  3. Takunori Sanuki says:

    Yvone! You did Great. Thanks for your tips.

  4. Yvonne says:

    You’re welcome.

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